Cloonski Ogorki Visits Headquarters For Ukrainian Christmas

CLOON'S COUSIN CLOONSKI OGORKI CELEBRATES UKRAINIAN CHRISTMAS WITH MISS TROVSKY OF THE PINK NOSE SOCIETY

Cloon: Well hello there Audience! I'z been up all night shooting the breeze with my cousin from Old Country, who flew in to celebrate Ukrainian Christmas with us at Headquarters. Welcome Cloonski Ogorki!

Cloonski: ZzDRAST-vet-yah...cousin!

Cloon: It's been a year since we've seen each other! You were last here in Canada for my Num-Nums Taste Test Challenge...

Cloonski: Yes, I'z gets call from you Cloon real late in night. Sayz takes airplanz to Canada to participatz in Num-Nums Taste Test Challenges. Cloon (blesses yeer little heart) says I'z can takes some of left-over Num-Nums from Challenge backs to Old Country with me. I'z very excitable for good opportunities like theese one...

Cloon: Audience members can read about my Num-Nums Taste Test Challenge here.  So Miss Trovsky, you and my cousin have also been catching up from the good ol' days...

Miss T: Correctamundo. We'z been comparing notes on our tactics for borscht-eating contests and discussing insects from Russia, our homeland.

Cloon: You look very deep in thought in the above photo...

Miss T: Uh, actually I ate too many perogies at our Christmas meal and couldn't wait to get out of the "Claus" suit...

Cloon: I'z glad everyone liked my perogies...The Assembly Line Elves were helping me make them theese week...Did you detect my secret ingredient?

Miss T: Num-Nums with just a sprinkle of catnip...

Cloon: I can't get anything past you Miss Trovsky, you'z a sharp one! So, I understand you'z gearing up for a Pink Nose Society Fundraiser in theese New Year...

Miss T: Exactamundo...I have something very special in the works.

Cloon: Excellent! I'z sure it's going to be one humdinger of a bash as you'z been busy with your event planning since you arrived at Headquarters 4 months ago...

Miss T: Yes, and I just want to say that any felines out there interested in a bit more background can read about the Pink Nose Society here.

Cloon: Well thanks to Cloonski Ogorki and Miss Trovsky for taking time out of their Ukrainian Christmas celebrations to chat with me.

Cloon saunters off to join the Christmas Carol Karaoke...

Wordless Wednesday - Cat In The PINK Hat

Once Upon A Time...The Story of George Clooney The Cat

CLOONEY'S NUM-NUM FUND...FROM THE VERY BEGINNING...PART 1:

Once upon a time, a Human found a character on the interwebs and it was love at first sight. That character was me. She adopted me from a rescue called Happy Cat Sanctuary and named me George Clooney (after her favorite celebrity). I was a REAL CHARACTER right from the very beginning...so I didn't mind the hats and outfits. At my Human's place I discovered a love for Num-Nums, so I decided to create a fund and began to blog for Num-Nums. http://bit.ly/a7Oj0Z In the process, lots of adventures took place and many other "characters" were involved.

I became the CEO of Clooney Credit Canada. My "Headquarters" was working to produce the World's First Clooneymobile. I had an Assembly Line with Assembly Line Elves working day and night except for those naps and Num-Num breaks. http://bit.ly/bwtACV The Elves went on strike once and I had to call in "The Negotiator". My cousin the Babushka Cat Hot Dog Vendor came from Old Country to sell hot dogs with sauerkraut on the picket lines. http://bit.ly/ceLot3

"Girlfriend" was my Secretary at Headquarters. She organized the Elves and me and was involved in other ventures such as the Mobile Waxing Unit. http://bit.ly/a2NLE8 We were very good pals and also threw parties at Headquarters especially for St. Patrick's Day. http://bit.ly/bWWwLH

"Girlfriend" founded the Pink Nose Society that was involved in "Saving The World...One Pink Nose At A Time". You had to be a feline and have a pink nose to join. http://bit.ly/c1ub9i I kept trying to infiltrate the Society but with no luck. http://bit.ly/9B4mg5

TIM was the only other member of the Pink Nose Society. He was a pal of ours from another household. He started out as Secretary and became Acting President when "Girlfriend" unexpectedly passed into kitty heaven. TIM did a lot of fundraising and was able to go on bird-watching trips. http://bit.ly/blOAEB The Society was left without pink noses late this summer when TIM joined "Girlfriend" in kitty heaven. But then out of the blue, "Girlfriend's" long-lost cousin appeared on the doorstep of Headquarters to carry on the legacy and assume the Presidency of the Society. http://bit.ly/c8VPbA

To be continued...

MISS TROVSKY PARTICIPATES IN CLIMB-A-THON FOR PINK NOSE SOCIETY

The National Feline Enquirer is on hand at the Headquarters of Clooney Credit Canada to interview Miss Trovsky, President of the Pink Nose Society, who has been "climbing the walls" in a 24 hour Climb-a-thon.

NFE: Good Day Miss Trovsky or should I say evening? We've been in the basement for 24 hours and have no idea what time of day it is.

Miss T: Exactamundo.

NFE: How are you holding out?

Miss T: I think my arms have fallen asleep holding this position.

NFE: What dedication you have! What prompted this climb in the first place?

Miss T: I saw a moth on the ceiling and "went for it".

NFE: And how did this turn into a Climb-a-thon and fundraiser for the Pink Nose Society?

Miss T: It was Cloon's idea. He saw me on the wall and said "hey, why don't you make some money off this".

NFE: Bless his little heart. So what's been happening?

Miss T: Well Cloon, "Ducky" and the Cockatoo from Australia have volunteered their own time on the phone lines for the public to call in, sponsor me and donate money to the Society.

NFE: How much money has been raised so far?

Miss T: Felines worldwide have gone to their piggy banks and donated a grand total of $1333.33!

NFE: How will you use the donated funds?

Miss T: Some of the money raised will be used to tour the "Insect Zoo" at the National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C. As well, I am saving for my trip back to Russia to recruit Russian felines for the Pink Nose Society.

NFE: Best of luck with your future fundraising efforts! When are you coming down from the wall?

Miss T: Pronto. I have to use the "premises".

Cloon: That will be a toon please...

MISS TROVSKY AND THE PINK NOSE SOCIETY

"GIRLFRIEND'S" LONG-LOST COUSIN ASSUMES PRESIDENCY OF THE PINK NOSE SOCIETY

Cloon: Hello there Audience, Happy September to you all. I'z got an important update from the
"Pink Nose Society". Joining me in-studio is the new President of the Society, Russian Entomologist Miss Trovsky. Welcome Miss Trovsky.

Miss T: ZzDRAST-vet-yah Cloon!

Cloon: Hello right back at ya. Now let me get all this straight...You'z the long-lost cousin of "Girlfriend" and in the wake of the untimely passing of TIM, you'z immigrated to Canada to take over the duties of the "Pink Nose Society".

Miss T: Correctamundo.

Cloon: I must admit I'z a bit jealous of your career...as an Entomologist you gets to study insects full-time... that's wicked cool. What's your favorite insect?

Miss T: The Animalia Arthropoda Insecta Lepidoptera.

Cloon: Enlighten us, will ya?

Miss T: The moth, Cloon, the moth is my favorite insect.

Cloon: Excellent choice. I'z rather fond of them myself. Now I understand that given your background, the focus of the Pink Nose Society may change from bird-watching trips to attending insect exhibits around the world.

Miss T: Exactamundo.

Cloon: I must say you have a great command of the English language. How did you learn to speak English so well in Russia?

Miss T: I watched "The Fonz" on Happy Days re-runs. I happen to have a crush on Fonzie, do you think you'd be able to introduce us?

Cloon: Coolamundo but I'z not really into match-making and we don't run in the same circles. By the way, do you happen to know my cousin "Cloonski Ogorki" from Old Country?

Miss T: We've crossed paths at the odd borscht-eating contest.

Cloon: Excellent, most excellent. He bears a most striking resemblance to me, wouldn't you say?

Miss T: Striking really. I'd actually swear it was you dressed in a Russian outfit.

Cloon: Funny. You have quite the imagination Miss Trovsky. Now that you're the new President of the Pink Nose Society and you may change the rules, I'z wondering if I could re-submit my resume for the position of "Treasurer"?

Miss T: Uh, you don't appear to have a pink nose. Now you might have fooled me if before our interview you had just dipped your face into a bowl of borscht...but I guess I'm the one with the good imagination after all...Besides the criteria to belong to the Society has now gotten even tougher...not only must you have a pink nose, but you must also have hairy paws. TIM made this addition to the criteria when he was Acting President.

Cloon: Well you can't blame a guy for trying and trying and trying, can ya?

FELINES DONATE TO THE PINK NOSE SOCIETY IN THE NEXT 48 HOURS AND RECEIVE MISS TROVSKY'S SECRET BORSCHT RECIPE...DO NOT DELAY
CALL 1-800-EAT-BUGS NOW.

PINK NOSE SOCIETY AKA "TIM" THROWS "TIM" A BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION

Cloon: Happy Birthday "TIM"!!!

TIM:

Cloon: "TIM" has mouthed a "silent meow". You don't look a day over "29" my friend!!!

TIM: No more third eye healing for you, my "friend".

Cloon: I'm just messin' with ya man! You look really good for your age, what's your secret?

TIM: I apply a "num-nums" facial mask weekly and get plenty of "beauty sleep".

Cloon: Excellent. Now, is it true that you threw yourself your own birthday bash?

TIM: Well, there's a shortage of pink noses in the "Society", so a guy's gotta do, what a guy's gotta do...

Cloon: Well, good on ya. But, if you would bend the rules a little with the "nose color" I could be the "Treasurer" and give you some help with the "Society".

TIM: Negatory. Pink noses only.

Cloon: You can't blame a guy for trying...Now what do you have planned for your birthday festivities?

TIM: "The Baby" and Mr. L are putting on a private Elvis concert for me and I'm hoping for an extra serving of num-nums from my Human.

Cloon: Sounds good. Well, "Happy Birthday to you ...and many more"...

(Cloon has the "jazz hands" going...)

MISS STORMY WEATHERS ORGANIZES BURLESQUE FUNDRAISER
FOR THE "PINK NOSE SOCIETY"

Cloon: A warm welcome to Miss Stormy, our in-studio guest today. Now, Miss Stormy I understand you've organized a fundraising event for the "Pink Nose Society".

Miss Stormy: Yes, that is correct. I've produced, directed, choreographed and promoted the upcoming event "Burlesque de Chat".

Cloon: That sounds like quite an undertaking. What made you decide to add to your already busy schedule with the nannying and all?

Miss Stormy: TIM, I'm doing it all for TIM...

Cloon: We've gone down that road before...Trust me he's not interested.

Miss Stormy: A girl can always hope, can't she? Besides, one of these days I'll swipe him into submission.

Cloon: Tell us more.

Miss Stormy: Well on a daily basis I give the guy a swipe across his pink nose...

Cloon: You're a wild one Miss Stormy. Now back to the fundraiser, what else can you tell us?

Miss Stormy: Make sure to come out and see some Feline Burlesque and support the "Pink Nose Society" of course. The $100 ticket for the evening includes your infamous catnip brownies, am I correct?

Cloon: Yes, I better get baking...we're expecting a sold-out performance and I'z only gots the easy-bake oven. A thanks to Miss Stormy and lines are now open for ticket sales.

Dial 1-800-PNK-CATS now...

CLOON PRESENTS "PRO BONO" SEMINAR AT WINTER CARNIVAL FUNDRAISER

What follows is an interview with FQ (Felines' Quarterly) in attendance at the Pink Nose Society's Winter Carnival Fundraiser.

FQ: My you look quite dashing Cloon. Do you have your own fashion stylist?

Cloon: I certainly do. It's my Human.

FQ: Well, good on you. Now can you tell us a little about your "Pro Bono" Seminar.

Cloon: The title of my seminar is "The Importance of Capitalist Ventures in Feline Society".

FQ: That sounds very intriguing. Tell us more.

Cloon: Theese one contains very important information for the feline segment of society.

FQ: Are you able to be a little more specific?

Cloon: Yes of course. Basically, it is important for felines to be involved in capitalist ventures because we'z very intelligent and needs the intellectual stimulation and also because we'z very independent and likes to be our own bosses. Also, because Num-Nums are very important to us, we has to take it into our own paws, so to speak, and be financially self-sufficient. Therefore, we needs to be entrepreneurs involved in capitalist ventures.

FQ: Excellent insight on your part Cloon. Can you review for us, your experience in these areas?

Cloon: I has my Num-Num Fund and my Blog. I'm CEO of Clooney Credit Canada, an automotive business. I has an Ice Cream Truck and I has also inherited the Mobile Waxing Unit which happens to be part of the same vehicle. I has also inherited a bedazzling business where I "pimp suitcases". I partake in some Mockumentary Filmmaking with Mr. L at Von Ice Enterprises. I has my "Cement Shoes" business. Need I say more?

FQ: No. Stop right there. You're making the rest of us felines look bad. What exactly takes place in these seminars?

Cloon: Well, I evaluate the natural strengths and skills and interests of the felines in attendance through the use of very specialized surveys, then we do some "think tank" brainstorming, and then some role-playing, then I show PowerPoint presentations of my various capitalist ventures, and we generally end the sessions with the Macarena (theese one is a good group activity) and a pep rally.

FQ: Where do you usually present this seminar?

Cloon: Fundraising events like theese one and at feline shelters and humane organizations.

FQ: Thank you for enlightening us with this very important information Cloon. Do you have anything to say in closing?

Cloon: (starting to Samba)..."Come and find me, my name is Macarena...Always at the party con las chicas que son buena...Hey Macarena!...Ay!

MR. L IS SPECIAL GUEST MUSICIAN AT "PINK NOSE SOCIETY" WINTER CARNIVAL FUNDRAISER

Cloon: Well the festivities have finally wound down at the Winter Carnival Fundraiser. The last felines have left and the clean-up crew (the Assembly Line Elves on loan from yours truly) is hard at work. How much money were you able to raise today, TIM?

TIM: It was a most excellent day for fundraising and for the "Pink Nose Society". 200 felines were in attendance today for the Carnival. So, I raised a hefty sum of $9800.

Cloon: Wow, are you sure that the rules still exclude me from being the Treasurer?

TIM: Do you have a pink nose?

Cloon: No, it's gray actually.

TIM: Well then, you don't gets to be the Treasurer. But getting back to the matter at hand, "Girlfriend" would have been very proud of today's results and the high calibre of the event.

Cloon: That is for sure. You did her proud! Well congratulations! Now for a few words with Mr. L, today's guest musician... So, please tell the Audience about your special drum.

Mr. L: It's called a djembe and it's from Africa.

Cloon: How did you come to take an interest in theese African drum?

Mr. L: I'm studying to be a film critic in my spare time so I often rent independent films to watch. One such film was called "The Visitor". It is about someone who plays the djembe. I was very taken with both the storyline of the film and the drumming, so when I attended a fair trade Christmas craft fair and saw a djembe from Africa there, I immediately purchased it.

Cloon: Fascinating! Do you practice everyday?

Mr. L: I do indeed. And when I do, "The Baby" always dances around because he likes the drumming.

Cloon: Yes, and "The Baby" got the crowd going today, didn't he? Most of the felines, including myself, were dancing around. We all worked up a really good appetite for the weenie roast. Well, there you have it folks. Remember, you heard it here first...

ANYONE WISHING TO BOOK MR. L & HIS DJEMBE FOR EVENTS OR ANYONE IN NEED OF A FILM CRITIC "IN TRAINING" ARE ASKED TO CONTACT HIS BOOKING AGENT AT 1-800-THE-KING.

TIM FROM THE "PINK NOSE SOCIETY" ORGANIZES WINTER CARNIVAL FUNDRAISER

Hello this is a public service announcement from me TIM, the Secretary and President of the Pink Nose Society. I'z organizing a winter carnival at the venue of Von Ice Enterprises (cuz we has a big backyard for festivities) for the most prestigious club around...the one and only "Pink Nose Society". And I'z the one and only "pink nose" that is a member of this club. Therefore, it is very exclusive. I am currently recruiting volunteers to help me with this special event. (Please submit a curriculum vitae highlighting proper credentials and relevant skills and experience.) The Winter Carnival is being held in the memory of "Girlfriend" past President of the PNS. All proceeds will go to the Pink Nose Society Birdwatching Fund. (I hopes to take another birdwatching trip in the upcoming spring.) Now for the details of the Winter Carnival...listen closely felines. This event is taking place on the Winter Solstice of Monday, December 21, 2009. It will begin sharply at 10:47 AM the exact time of the solstice. Felines please ensure that you form an orderly queue half an hour before the Festival begins. Entrance fee to the event is $49.

The itinerary is as follows: 10:17 AM - Orderly queue forms

10:30 AM - Entrance to event and ice breaker games

10:45 AM - All felines are served a hot toddy to toast in the Solstice

10:47 AM - Winter Solstice 2009 Toast and Cheers

11:00 AM - Special Guest Musician

11:30 AM - Snow Angels, Snowman Building Contest, Birdwatching

12:00 PM - Live JumboTron presentation of the 5th Annual Cat Toy
Awareness March

12:30 PM - Weenie and Marshmallow Roast

1:00 PM - Pro Bono Seminar by Cloon

2:00 PM - Moonwalk lessons by TIM

2:30 PM - Backyard Sleigh Rides (courtesy of Mr. L)

3:00 PM - Picture with Santa (also courtesy of Mr. L)

3:30 PM - Snack (Cloon's famous catnip brownies)

3:45 PM - Elvis Voice Coaching Lessons (courtesy of "The Baby")

4:00 PM - Event Wrap-up and Evaluation Survey

Felines avoid disappointment...purchase tickets early... this will be a sell-out event.

Call 1-800-PNK-NOSE...Lines are now open...

TIM, SECRETARY OF THE "PINK NOSE SOCIETY" RETURNS FROM "WORLD BIRD SANCTUARY" IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
"Girlfriend": Well hello there, my pink-nosed friend!

TIM: Where's the num-nums? I was promised num-nums...

"Girlfriend": Oh, dear... Well, let's conduct this interview first, shall we...That's a nice hat you have there!

TIM: It's my official bird-watching hat. Except for, they got my name wrong...It ain't Stanley...

"Girlfriend": Oh, dear...We'll have to get that attended to. Now, can you please share with the Audience your favorite part of the bird-watching trip?

TIM: Yes. It was the Homing Pigeon Release. You see, my Birthday was missed on the Blog this year and even though I do have "tough fur", my feelings was hurt. So, my Belated Birthday was acknowledged by having homing pigeons released in my honour. Now, this experience was "unforgettable" and I was deeply touched.

"Girlfriend": Wow. That is quite something! We do apologize profusely for forgetting your Birthday here on the Blog. You know we "loves you like our own". And Cloon passes on a "Uh, sorry about that" to you. Now, did you make the bird noises or perform the "silent meow" when the pigeons were released?

TIM: It was so exciting that I did make the bird noises, I must admit.

"Girlfriend": Excellent. What else did you like about the trip?

TIM: I liked the songbird hike and seeing the rare birds and the parrots had very nice colors as well.

"Girlfriend": Now you did present the World Bird Sanctuary with a charitable donation from our "Pink Nose Society", can you tell the Audience about this?

TIM: Yes. I am very proud to say that I presented them with a cheque for $100.

"Girlfriend": You also have some other very exciting news for the Audience, am I correct?

TIM: Yes. I have submitted my application for the Internship Program at the World Bird Sanctuary and am currently waiting to see if I will be accepted.

"Girlfriend": Wow, that is indeed exciting! What kind of duties must you perform if you get accepted as an intern?

TIM: Well it is quite extensive. I will be involved in bird rehabilitation, field identification of birds & documentation of behaviors, public education, interacting with visitors and I must be capable of rigorous outdoor work in all types of weather conditions.

"Girlfriend": That is quite an involved undertaking. Good luck to you and please keep us updated regarding your internship status.

TIM: I will. I must admit I'z quite excited. I check the mailbox on a daily basis.

"Girlfriend": Well Audience that's a wrap. A thank you again to "Feline Vogue" for donating the miniature binoculars to us for the trip.

TIM HEADS INTO THE KITCHEN FOR NUM-NUMS...