On The Red Carpet: A Very Special Edition

Hello there Audience and welcome to our 5th Annual Academy Awards Oscar Review.  Tonight is a very special Edition and you'll see why later...

I'll be hosting the event this evening and here I am watching and waiting for my Co-Host to arrive...

(Photo: Source Unknown)

Has anyone seen theese guy?  He's late on the scene and the Audience is starting to get antsy...I guess I'm going to have to carry this all on my own...Let's get the show on the road, shall we?

Cloon's Best Oscar Moment goes to Ellen ordering pizza for the Audience!  
Ducky's "You're Busting My Chops" Award goes to Jamie Foxx's Slo' Mo' Dance during presenting...
Neytiri's Best Dressed Award goes to Sandra Bullock (we loves our Sandy here at Headquarters)...


And now for the Oscar for Best Motion Picture...

In the Best Motion Picture Category...the 3 Nominees are:

1)  The Wolf Cat of Wall Street

This motion picture features a crafty feline CEO who will stop at nothing to market and sell a non-existent automobile Clooneymobile...

CEO: "Hey Director, how's the lighting in theese scene?"

CEO: "How 'bout now?"

2)  Captain Phillips Cloon

(Photo: Source Unknown)

This motion picture features Captain Cloon...

Captain Cloon: "Hey Director, wait a minute...you got the wrong "Cloon"!"  That's where my Co-Host went...that sneaky guy...

Captain Cloon: "Whew!  That's more like it."

Let's start again, shall we?  This motion picture features Captain Cloon whose ship is captured by a mutant rogue Pirate...

Captain Cloon must face-off against the Dread Pirate "Deck Swab Ducky"...

3)  Her

This motion picture features the love story between a Human with a broken heart and the sweet beauty Neytiri who helped to heal her...

And the Oscar goes to...

Her

Accepting the Oscar is our very own Neytiri 
who turns 4 today!  

Happy Birthday Neytiri! 

You are the Cat's Meow! 

And that's all folks!  Thanks for joining us OTRC!

Questions From Clooney

If Clooney could talk just for a day, here's what he would ask me
and what he would say:

Cloon: Why am I so awesome?

Cloon's Human: You're on the right track baby, you was born this way...

Cloon: How come I can't get Squirrel TV where we now live?

Cloon's Human: Uh, you need to call up Shaw Technical Support...

 Cloon: Why do the baristas always get my order wrong?

Cloon's Human: Uh, it's quite a complex beverage and they haven't mastered the art of interspecies communication...

 Cloon: How come you haven't sold any Clooneymobiles yet?

Cloon's Human: Uh...*major storyline FAIL*

Cloon: When are you taking me shopping?

Cloon's Human: Uh, did "that" just come off your printing press?

Cloon: Where did you learn to dance?

Cloon's Human: Uh, I'm self-taught...you know...I dance like there's no one watching...except you...

Cloon: Well, I thinks I needs to give you some lessons...sign up for my Saturday Samba classes, will ya?

Thanks to Zoolatry for the Answer Your Cat's Questions Day graphic and the fun event!

(And thanks for all your Gotcha Day wishes!)

CANADA DAY CELEBRATIONS

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

Hello there Audience.  Welcome to our Canada Day Celebration!

Neytiri is the official flag-bearer today.

Here I am inspecting the flag and smoothing things over.

HERE ARE OUR TOP 5 TIPS FOR A HAPPY CANADA DAY - EH!

5) Eat as many hotdogs as you can then finds a good place to nap.

4) Take in dunk tank or pie-in-the-face fundraisers that support local felines.

3) Try your paw at balloon artistry...but get your Human to trim your nails first.

2) Avoid getting your face painted (it takes too much effort to clean yourself afterwards...) Trust me on theese one...

and our #1 tip of the day...

1) Seek out an excellent hiding place before the fireworks get underway.

We know that everyone was excited for our Good Old Fashioned Water Fight taking place today...I won Round 1 against Neytiri by just a whisker and then proceeded to Round 2 against "The Baby".  I smoked him and as you can see he is soaking wet!

Here I am about to finish him off! 

Neytiri got quite a kick out of that and you can see her in the background laughing her tail off...

She is the official judge of Round 2 so she is heading over to inspect "The Baby"...

She has declared "The Baby" sufficiently soaked and pronounced me the Official Winner of The Good Old Fashioned Water Fight!

We hope you will stick around for our feature attraction "Ducky's" Skateboard Trick Extravaganza!

Guests may help themselves to a nice festive dessert of fresh strawberries and whipped cream...

Felines may choose their preferred type of Num-Nums...

And anyone in the market for a Clooneymobile will get to have a little Samba time with The Cloon...



Once Upon A Time...The Story of George Clooney The Cat

CLOONEY'S NUM-NUM FUND...FROM THE VERY BEGINNING...PART 1:

Once upon a time, a Human found a character on the interwebs and it was love at first sight. That character was me. She adopted me from a rescue called Happy Cat Sanctuary and named me George Clooney (after her favorite celebrity). I was a REAL CHARACTER right from the very beginning...so I didn't mind the hats and outfits. At my Human's place I discovered a love for Num-Nums, so I decided to create a fund and began to blog for Num-Nums. http://bit.ly/a7Oj0Z In the process, lots of adventures took place and many other "characters" were involved.

I became the CEO of Clooney Credit Canada. My "Headquarters" was working to produce the World's First Clooneymobile. I had an Assembly Line with Assembly Line Elves working day and night except for those naps and Num-Num breaks. http://bit.ly/bwtACV The Elves went on strike once and I had to call in "The Negotiator". My cousin the Babushka Cat Hot Dog Vendor came from Old Country to sell hot dogs with sauerkraut on the picket lines. http://bit.ly/ceLot3

"Girlfriend" was my Secretary at Headquarters. She organized the Elves and me and was involved in other ventures such as the Mobile Waxing Unit. http://bit.ly/a2NLE8 We were very good pals and also threw parties at Headquarters especially for St. Patrick's Day. http://bit.ly/bWWwLH

"Girlfriend" founded the Pink Nose Society that was involved in "Saving The World...One Pink Nose At A Time". You had to be a feline and have a pink nose to join. http://bit.ly/c1ub9i I kept trying to infiltrate the Society but with no luck. http://bit.ly/9B4mg5

TIM was the only other member of the Pink Nose Society. He was a pal of ours from another household. He started out as Secretary and became Acting President when "Girlfriend" unexpectedly passed into kitty heaven. TIM did a lot of fundraising and was able to go on bird-watching trips. http://bit.ly/blOAEB The Society was left without pink noses late this summer when TIM joined "Girlfriend" in kitty heaven. But then out of the blue, "Girlfriend's" long-lost cousin appeared on the doorstep of Headquarters to carry on the legacy and assume the Presidency of the Society. http://bit.ly/c8VPbA

To be continued...

CLOON RUNS "FUNDRAISING & PR" COMPONENT OF EMPLOYEE BOOTCAMP

Hello there Audience. What follows is the telemarketing script I devised for my Employees involved in the "Fundraising & PR" aka "SALES" Bootcamp at Headquarters:

"DEOS TEH STCOK MRAEKT HVAE YUO MXEID UP?

Invest instead in the ... Clooneymobile!

In these uncertain economic times, Cloon, the CEO of Clooney Credit Canada offers you a wise investment alternative. As the purveyor of the World's First Clooneymobile, he has available for his public a ground floor investment opportunity. He is currently accepting a limited amount of investors for 10 year leases of the World's First Clooneymobiles, about to be hot off the press, or shall we say Assembly Line. The biggest question you have to ask yourself now is, do I want bird motif or squirrel motif for the interior design? Personally, we advise you to choose birds as they are more of a chick-magnet. However, if the canine rules in your household you may be coerced into the squirrels. The expected launch date is...soon. Act now rather than face disappointment. Support a Feline Entrepreneur and Small Businesscat. Invest now...

So, how many 10 year leases can we sign you up for?... With every 3 leases you get a free Limited Edition Print of CEO Cloon and the Assembly Line Elves (that have been personally involved on the "Lines" in the production of your custom Clooneymobile). Now, will that be VISA, MASTERCARD OR AMERICAN EXPRESS? We do also accept REAL CASH aka pesos, zloty, greenbacks, pounds, euros, and canuck bucks.

But wait there's more...Sign up right now and receive your choice of Num-Nums Tourtiere Pie or Catnip Cherry Pie, fresh out of the Easy Bake"...

Audience, I am pleased to report that my Secretary Princess Neytiri, "Ducky" and The Cockatoo from Australia all passed theese component of Bootcamp with flying colors. I monitored their calls and heard a 100% Success Rate. Of course, we also had subliminal messages like "Buy the Clooneymobile" playing in the background during theese calls. To celebrate their remarkable Telemarketing skills I'z currently throwing them a special party at Headquarters.

Audience, tune in tomorrow because I'z going to participate in my first "Wordless Wednesday". It's when Felines "zip-it", don't talk and just post pictures of themselves. I know theese is a challenge for me because I likes talking...

Oops gotta go, the party is heating up and they'z calling me for the Conga Line...

SECRETARY OF CLOONEY CREDIT CANADA RUNS BOOTCAMP FOR "ASSEMBLY LINE PRODUCTION"

Cloon: Joining me is the Secretary of CCC with her update on the next component of her Bootcamp: Assembly Line Production. Hello Princess Neytiri.

Neytiri: Hello there Cloon.

Cloon: So tell me how this latest component of Bootcamp went with the Elves?

Neytiri: Those little buggers have some interesting personalities.

Cloon: I guess they take after me, huh? Did you end up increasing the efficiency of their production on the Assembly Line?

Neytiri: But of course. My Bootcamp worked like a charm!

Cloon: What did that all entail?

Neytiri: We started the day at 3:30AM with some Feline Zen meditation. Then we went outside into the crisp air for a jog, jumping-jacks and push-ups. "Give me 50 right now!"

Cloon: Seriously?

Neytiri: Seriously.

Cloon: Seriously.

Neytiri: Ok, I'm just pulling your paw, but it did work on the Assembly Line Elves. Then with a clear mind and a good appetite we had a Num-Nums break.

Cloon: That would be my favorite part.

Neytiri: Then we got serious. I set up the projector, showed some clips of inspiring felines around the world, we did some role-playing and had a miniature pep rally. Then when the Elves were all "pumped-up" I lectured about the importance of efficiency on the Assembly Line and how we need to increase our production of Clooneymobiles pronto! I showed charts and graphs for the expected efficiency for the upcoming quarters and we discussed the incentives for reaching the specified targets. If targets were reached according to plan each Elf would be given their own case of Num-Nums to eat at their leisure and I would also take them on a special field trip (the details of which are yet to be determined). After this discussion, I observed them at work on the Assembly Line and gave some constructive feedback. Then we had another Num-Nums break and a nap. After the nap we started the whole process over again right from the Feline Zen Meditation finally ending with Num-Nums at the evening meal and beddy-bye at 7:30PM. We did this for 19 days straight and had our graduation ceremony last night.

Cloon: How did they all do?

Neytiri: They passed with flying colors! Each one has been awarded their "Certificate of Achievement in Assembly Line Production". Also, they were each allowed one mini mug of ale to celebrate and all are in high spirits.

Cloon: Excellent, most excellent. Let the production begin...