What follows is an interview with FQ (Felines' Quarterly) in attendance at the Pink Nose Society's Winter Carnival Fundraiser.
FQ: My you look quite dashing Cloon. Do you have your own fashion stylist?
Cloon: I certainly do. It's my Human.
FQ: Well, good on you. Now can you tell us a little about your "Pro Bono" Seminar.
Cloon: The title of my seminar is "The Importance of Capitalist Ventures in Feline Society".
FQ: That sounds very intriguing. Tell us more.
Cloon: Theese one contains very important information for the feline segment of society.
FQ: Are you able to be a little more specific?
Cloon: Yes of course. Basically, it is important for felines to be involved in capitalist ventures because we'z very intelligent and needs the intellectual stimulation and also because we'z very independent and likes to be our own bosses. Also, because Num-Nums are very important to us, we has to take it into our own paws, so to speak, and be financially self-sufficient. Therefore, we needs to be entrepreneurs involved in capitalist ventures.
FQ: Excellent insight on your part Cloon. Can you review for us, your experience in these areas?
Cloon: I has my Num-Num Fund and my Blog. I'm CEO of Clooney Credit Canada, an automotive business. I has an Ice Cream Truck and I has also inherited the Mobile Waxing Unit which happens to be part of the same vehicle. I has also inherited a bedazzling business where I "pimp suitcases". I partake in some Mockumentary Filmmaking with Mr. L at Von Ice Enterprises. I has my "Cement Shoes" business. Need I say more?
FQ: No. Stop right there. You're making the rest of us felines look bad. What exactly takes place in these seminars?
Cloon: Well, I evaluate the natural strengths and skills and interests of the felines in attendance through the use of very specialized surveys, then we do some "think tank" brainstorming, and then some role-playing, then I show PowerPoint presentations of my various capitalist ventures, and we generally end the sessions with the Macarena (theese one is a good group activity) and a pep rally.
FQ: Where do you usually present this seminar?
Cloon: Fundraising events like theese one and at feline shelters and humane organizations.
FQ: Thank you for enlightening us with this very important information Cloon. Do you have anything to say in closing?
Cloon: (starting to Samba)..."Come and find me, my name is Macarena...Always at the party con las chicas que son buena...Hey Macarena!...Ay!