October 26, 2010


Hello there Audience. What follows is the telemarketing script I devised for my Employees involved in the "Fundraising & PR" aka "SALES" Bootcamp at Headquarters:


Invest instead in the ... Clooneymobile!

In these uncertain economic times, Cloon, the CEO of Clooney Credit Canada offers you a wise investment alternative. As the purveyor of the World's First Clooneymobile, he has available for his public a ground floor investment opportunity. He is currently accepting a limited amount of investors for 10 year leases of the World's First Clooneymobiles, about to be hot off the press, or shall we say Assembly Line. The biggest question you have to ask yourself now is, do I want bird motif or squirrel motif for the interior design? Personally, we advise you to choose birds as they are more of a chick-magnet. However, if the canine rules in your household you may be coerced into the squirrels. The expected launch date is...soon. Act now rather than face disappointment. Support a Feline Entrepreneur and Small Businesscat. Invest now...

So, how many 10 year leases can we sign you up for?... With every 3 leases you get a free Limited Edition Print of CEO Cloon and the Assembly Line Elves (that have been personally involved on the "Lines" in the production of your custom Clooneymobile). Now, will that be VISA, MASTERCARD OR AMERICAN EXPRESS? We do also accept REAL CASH aka pesos, zloty, greenbacks, pounds, euros, and canuck bucks.

But wait there's more...Sign up right now and receive your choice of Num-Nums Tourtiere Pie or Catnip Cherry Pie, fresh out of the Easy Bake"...

Audience, I am pleased to report that my Secretary Princess Neytiri, "Ducky" and The Cockatoo from Australia all passed theese component of Bootcamp with flying colors. I monitored their calls and heard a 100% Success Rate. Of course, we also had subliminal messages like "Buy the Clooneymobile" playing in the background during theese calls. To celebrate their remarkable Telemarketing skills I'z currently throwing them a special party at Headquarters.

Audience, tune in tomorrow because I'z going to participate in my first "Wordless Wednesday". It's when Felines "zip-it", don't talk and just post pictures of themselves. I know theese is a challenge for me because I likes talking...

Oops gotta go, the party is heating up and they'z calling me for the Conga Line...

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