September 28, 2010

"SHAKE YA TAILFEATHER"... DUSTING BOOTCAMP BEGINS

Cloon: So how goes the "Office Management" component of the Bootcamp?

Neytiri: Well, the Cockatoo from Australia got top marks in the efficiency category for answering the busy switchboard. "Ducky" had the highest score for politeness. And Pierre Du Port took the "flair" category by storm. His French accent does quite a number on the lady callers.

Cloon: Sounds about right. Did each of them get the passing grade they needed to advance to the next module?

Neytiri: They all passed with flying colors! In fact, I even had "The Baby" call in with a prank phone call and they each handled it with perfect professionalism, even upselling him in the process.

Cloon: Excellent, most excellent. Did "The Baby" use my all time favorite of "Is your refrigerator running?"

Neytiri: Yes, he did! He said he learned it from you by attending your "Seminar on Prank Calls".

Cloon: That's a my boy, he maka me proud every time. What did the employees end up upselling him?

Neytiri: A pimped up suitcase! And I must say they were 4 Bootcamp components ahead of themselves!

Cloon: I thinks they take after me in the intelligence department. Theese is lookin' good! So, how did they do with the Dusting Bootcamp?

Neytiri: They enjoyed observing me with the feather duster. I must admit I have a bit of a fixation with it. I like to run around the house holding it in my mouth.

Cloon: How did you manage to keep them motivated with the process?

Neytiri: I played rap music loudly in the background.

Cloon: So, it's on to the next module of training: "scheduling daily num-num breaks for Headquarters employees". Speaking of which "I'm starving like Marvin girl"...

CLOON SAMBAS AROUND HEADQUARTERS SINGING: "OH, OH, OH...OH OH...

SHAKE YA TAIL FEATHER"...

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