October 4, 2010


Cloon: Hello there Audience. We gots an exciting event going on at Headquarters. It's the final module of the "Office Management" Bootcamp: "Using the easy bake oven". The kitchen of Headquarters is abuzz with excitement as two of our Bootcamp trainees Pierre Du Port and "Ducky" have been busy at work in the kitchen all day. It appears that the Cockatoo from Australia is sitting theese module out...here with the update is the Secretary of Clooney Credit Canada and the official Bootcamp Leader.

Neytiri: Yes, Cloon. As it turns out our liability insurance at Headquarters does not cover the potential hazards of mixing "feathers" with electrical appliances. Thus, the Cockatoo from Australia was given a pass on this module leaving Pierre Du Port competing against "Ducky" in the bake-off.

Cloon: Understandable. Now can you bring the Audience up to snuff with what is going on in the Bootcamp?

Neytiri: My trainees are about to graduate from the "Office Management" component of the Bootcamp and must compete in an Easy Bake Oven Bake-Off. I spent the morning doing a seminar on the ins and outs of the easy bake oven: demonstrating how to plug the apparatus in, using the various knobs and settings, adjusting the temperature correctly, safety procedures during use, testing the food to ensure it is fully cooked and finally, cleaning the unit after its use. For their final exam, I have given them the creative freedom to choose their own type of pie to make and then bake using the oven.

Cloon: And I guess that's where I come in... I'z the official judge of the contest and will assign the passing grade to each of the trainees and declare the winner of the bake-off.

Neytiri: That's correct. Now there is one interesting twist in the contest. Each of the trainees has used their own "secret ingredient" in their pie, which you alone must identify and then judge the overall synergy and balance with the rest of the ingredients.

Cloon: Excellent, most excellent! I will grade theese pies according to taste for a total of 25 points, creativity for a total of 15 points and overall impression for a total of 10 points. Then I will assign the trainees a grade out of 50 possible points. The straws have been drawn for tasting order and Pierre shall present his pie first. Go ahead Pierre...Rock my easy bake...

Pierre: Bonjour Cloon! Today you will be tasting a Tourtiere, a French Canadian meat pie from Quebec. Bon Appetit!

Cloon: Mmm, this is quite tasty, I has to give you a full 25 points for flavor. And I do believe that I detect the "secret ingredient" to be num-nums... which is very creative on your part Pierre, so I has to give you a full 15 points for creativity. My overall impression is that I am very impressed, therefore I has to give you a full 10 points in theese category. Pierre has just earned himself a perfect score of 50 out of 50 for his num-nums meat pie! Now, onto the next one: "Ducky"...Rock my easy bake...

"Ducky": Quack, quack, quack...

Cloon: Excuse me, do we have a translator in the Audience? Does anyone speak "Stuffed Duck"?

"Ducky": Just messin' with ya Cloon! Today you will be tasting an "elegant" red cherry pie. Enjoy!

Cloon: Hmm, theese one tastes very, very interesting...I can't quite put my paw on the "secret ingredient"...I needs to have another piece...

(The Audience gasps in astonishment as Cloon starts rolling around on the floor...)

Cloon: (Getting his composure back) Brilliant! I believe that the "secret ingredient" is catnip so "Ducky" gets a full 15 points for creativity! I'm very impressed with his "secret ingredient" so he gets a full 10 points for overall impression. I must say I feel a bit "under the influence" so I will be awarding a full 25 points for taste. "Ducky" has just earned himself a perfect score of 50 out of 50 for his cherry catnip pie!

It's official...I declare a tie in the easy bake oven bake-off. Both trainees, Pierre Du Port and "Ducky" have been granted a perfect passing grade of 50/50 for theese module and will be awarded a certificate in "Office Management".

(Having a bit of the "munchies", Cloon saunters off in search of more num-nums pie...)

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