BREAKING NEWS... MISS STORMY WEATHERS (NANNY OF THE "LOVE BABIES") IS ON HOUSE ARREST AT VON ICE ENTERPRISES...

The National Feline Enquirer has paid for a story from an undisclosed feline reporting that Miss Stormy has indeed suffered some consequences for her frank disclosure of her "nannying" practices at the Num-Nums Taste Test Challenge. The informant has stated that "Concerned Friends of Cat Toys" - a cat toy activist group concerned for cat toy rights - is on the scene at Von Ice Enterprises combing every square inch of the place for the whereabouts of "Love Babies": Pinkie, Limon and Chip Off The Old Baby. The search party says that it could have used the "nose" of Private Eye Von Ice to aid in the search, however, he is away on an all expense paid trip to "Squirrel Sanctuary" so is currently unavailable.

When questioned about her current state of affairs, Miss Stormy was quoted as saying, "I rather enjoy the feeling of security of my new "house" and the Zen quality of solitary confinement. Let me know when you find the little buggers, will ya? Then I can gets more entertainment and bat them back under the couch."

ANY FELINES WISHING TO VOLUNTEER WITH THE SEARCH PARTY ARE ASKED TO CALL 1-800-CAT-TOYS

...MEANWHILE BACK AT VON ICE ENTERPRISES...PRIVATE EYE & "THE BABY" WIN RADIO CONTEST TO VISIT SQUIRREL SANCTUARY IN NORTHERN ALBERTA...

It's a typical early morning at Von Ice Enterprises, Private Eye reviews his schedule which includes Elvis Impersonation Rehearsals and a possible glimpse of backyard wildlife here and there...when suddenly a radio announcement on WOOF-FM catches Private Eye's attention:

Hello Canines...I've got a live one for ya... Dreaming of the time again when squirrels will frequent your backyard? Don't wait till Spring...Call in now for the chance to win "two free tickets to Squirrel Sanctuary"...That's right Canines...You heard me correctly...Be the 500th caller in this morning, when the lines open, and win a free trip for two to the secret Squirrel Sanctuary located in Northern Alberta. Trip includes private limo service with champagne and an open sunroof for wildlife viewing along the way. Of course, you and your lucky guest will be blindfolded once we reach the vicinity of Squirrel Sanctuary as its location is secret. Once there, you will be treated to an unobstructed view of squirrels in their natural habitat and will be able to tour a museum of squirrel paraphernalia. There will be a steak BBQ where you will be presented with a good steak bone for your limo ride back home. Do not delay any further, Canines. Lines are now open...

Private Eye heads for the telephone and starts dialing...After busy signals and hitting redial for 1 hour...a voice comes on the line:

"Well a big congratulations to you, you are our 500th caller! And what is your name?"

Private Eye starts to hyperventilate with excitement. ("The Baby" brings him a paper bag to breathe into before he begins to see stars.) He collects himself just in time to respond to the radio announcer:

"I'm Private Eye Malhaven Von Ice."

Radio Announcer: Well, you're one lucky Canine! We'll be sending the limo around for you shortly. This trip is one of those last minute dealies, so be waiting curbside with your guest and the driver will be there within the hour. Remember to pack lightly, bring a camera and stay on the line to give us your exact location for pick-up.

PRIVATE EYE AND "THE BABY" PACK UP THEIR BELONGINGS, GO OUT TO THE CURB AND ARE WHISKED AWAY BY PRIVATE LIMO TO THE SECRET "SQUIRREL SANCTUARY"... AFTER THEY PULL AWAY FROM VON ICE ENTERPRISES, A FRANTIC CALL FROM CLOON COMES IN...BUT ALAS, IT IS TOO LATE. PRIVATE EYE HAS ALREADY LEFT THE CITY.

...THE SAGA CONTINUES...

TIM AND "THE CHALLENGER" (OFFICIAL JUDGES OF THE NUM-NUMS TASTE TEST CHALLENGE) TABULATE THE FINAL RESULTS...

The Audience at Headquarters is buzzing with excitement and speculation regarding the final poll results of the Taste Test Challenge. Bets have been waged and now felines worldwide are holding their breath until "The Challenger" does his official little dance and TIM gives the secret signal signifying that the results are in...

TIM:

"The Challenger": (Performing a stiff rap dance) It is official...TIM has mouthed a silent meow and moonwalked across the studio...The results are in!!!....

TIM: It's a shocker...Folks! Those felines who have bet on the long shot with Vegas will soon be buying their own private islands in the South Pacific and enjoying leisurely days of endless bird-watching...(Throw me a couple of pebbles will ya and invite me to stay on as your permanent house guest)...

"The Challenger": Yo Yo TIM, the results are in...Let's git on wit it...

TIM: Drum roll please...It's official...The winner of the World's First Num-Nums Taste Test Challenge sponsored by Clooney Credit Canada is..."A"... Here to reveal the identity of Num-Nums "A" is Cloon...

Cloon: Hello, hello, hello my furry little friends. Hold onto your britches...theese one is a good one! Are you all ready? Without further adieu, I say, "Will the REAL Num-Nums Please Step Forward"...

The Audience is out of control with excitement, cheering "CLOON, CLOON, CLOON"...

Cloon: The REAL Num-Nums is my original Num-Nums...Wellness Beef and Chicken Formula...

There is a mixed reaction in the Audience, some felines are doing the samba while others gasp in astonishment with their mouths open...There is only one thing left to do...Cloon proceeds to the Vault to get his secret laboratory findings and hold his official press conference...

Suddenly, the alarm system at Headquarters is sounded and Cloon emerges from the Vault with a very serious look on his face.

Cloon: Attention Everyone! My secret laboratory findings have been stolen from the Vault...There is only one canine who can assist me...This is a job for Private Eye Von Ice...

CLOON EXITS STAGE LEFT TO PLACE A CALL TO VON ICE ENTERPRISES...

TO BE CONTINUED...

CLOON'S COUSIN "CLOONSKI OGORKI" VISITS FROM OLD COUNTRY

I'z Cloon's cousin from Old Country. I'z gets call from Cloon real late in night. Sayz takes airplanz to Canada to participatz in Num-Nums Taste Test Challenges. Cloon (blesses heez little heart) says I'z can takes some of left-over Num-Nums from Challenge backs to Old Country with me. I'z very excitable for good opportunities like theese one. I'z not let Cloon down. I'z makes, how you call it, "correct choices on ballot"...

Cloon: ZzDRAST-vet-yah...cousin!

Cloonski: Hello! You makz me so proudz my little boyz...greetingz me in my mother tongue...

Cloon: It's the miracle of the interwebs...I'z been studying many languages...You know cousin, you bear quite a striking resemblance to me. If I didn't already have a twin in the land down under, you might have qualified. Uh, sorry about that!

Cloonski: I'z, how you call it, "flattering and honored"... to looks like you...

Cloon: How was your flight? Any jet lag? Uh...you needs to be in a good frame of mind for the Taste Test. Are you ready to proceed?

Cloonski: No problemz...I hadz my flask of "potato water" with me on airplanz and I feelz like, how you call it, "a million buckz". But, I do haz to use the "premises" before we getz started...

Cloon: That will be a toon please...

Cloonski: Will you takz "zloty"? I'z did not exchangez my money yet...

Cloon: Let's make the proper conversion, shall we? On xe.com it says that you owes me 5.2 zloty.

Cloonski: No problemz...

CLOON TAKES THE "ZLOTY" TO THE VAULT WHILE CLOONSKI CONDUCTS HIS "BUSINESS"...FINALLY CLOONSKI EMERGES AGAIN...FOR THE TASTE TEST

Cloon: Now cousin, please proceed to taste both samples of Num-Nums. I encourage you to take your time, slowly savoring each one on your palate. When you are ready, I need you to put a paw print on the ballot next to either "A"or "B", whichever Num-Nums you liked better. Pierre Du Port is coming around with an ink pad as we speak.

AGAIN HEADQUARTERS IS FILLED WITH SUSPENSE AND THERE IS A DRUM ROLL...

Cloon: It is official. "Cloonski Ogorki" has chosen Num-Nums "A".

TUNE IN FOR THE OFFICIAL RESULTS OF THE NUM-NUMS TASTE TEST CHALLENGE AND CLOON'S PRESS CONFERENCE...

DUE TO AN OVERWHELMING TURNOUT...NUM-NUMS TASTE TEST CHALLENGE EXTENDS INTO THIS WEEK...
Felines from around the world camped outside the Headquarters of Clooney Credit Canada for a chance to participate in the history-making event of the Num-Nums Taste Test Challenge.
What follows is a interview clip with Miss Stormy Weathers-Nanny of the Love Babies:

Cloon: Thank you for your participaction in the Num-Nums Taste Test. It must be a well-deserved little break for you...I hear "nannying" is a tough gig...

Miss S: Affirmative. However, right now all of the Love Babies are underneath a couch somewhere...I've lost track of them, I must admit...

Cloon: Uh, is that even allowed? I mean aren't there any regulatory bodies involved in theese "nannying"?

Miss S: Well, I won't tell anyone if you don't...(Miss Stormy starts doing the infamous laugh of "Girlfriend" HeHeHeHe...HeHeHeHe...)

Cloon: You're my kind of woman! Do you wants to go out on a date?

Miss S: Uh, no actually. Being a bachelor at your age can only spell trouble...Besides I prefer Maine Coons.

Cloon: Trust me, he's not interested...

Miss S: We'll see about that...

Cloon: Let's get on with the Taste Test, shall we? Now, Miss Stormy I need you to put a paw print on the ballot next to either "A"or "B", whichever Num-Nums you liked better. Pierre Du Port is coming around with an ink pad as we speak.

The anticipation and suspense is wreaking havoc on the Audience of felines in attendance....Cloon pounds his little paw for "Order in the Court".

Cloon: It is official. Miss Stormy has chosen Num-Nums "A".

Tune in this week Audience as we continue to reveal the findings...

**BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN FROM HEADQUARTERS...
CLOON MAKES IMPORTANT SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY...**
Well hello there Audience. I'z been in my secret research laboratory day and night analyzing the above specimens (see photo). It came to my attention, during "Girlfriend's" illness, that a very important piece of information had been withheld from me by my Human. Apparently, there was an "original" Num-Nums that I had never been exposed to nor fed. Theese one is called "Fancy Feast Sliced Turkey Feast". It came out of the woodwork when my Human was trying to get "Girlfriend" to eat a little something and apparently it's a favorite of many felines worldwide. In fact, most will eat theese one when they refuse to eat anything else. Of course, I took an immediate liking to it and tried to eat all of "Girlfriend's" portions as well. I even boycotted my original Num-Nums when theese new one disappeared from Headquarters after "Girlfriend" went to kitty heaven. That's right...you heard me correctly folks. Imagine that...me boycotting me own Num-Nums that I love so much. So, an interesting phenomenon took place recently when my Human returned with a couple cans of the "stuff". I tooks it into my research laboratory and instantly began performing a scientific analysis of it, comparing it to my normal (healthy) Num-Nums. I'z been charting the statistical results, graphing them and applying algorithms and I'z come up with some very significant classified information. I'z going to be holding a press conference at the end of this week and revealing to the world my secret findings.

In the meantime, gather around felines...this is very important...I will be holding a week-long blind taste test and Num-Num's taste challenge this week at Headquarters. Felines can contact Pierre Du Port (Acting Secretary of Clooney Credit Canada) and TIM (Pink Nose Society Secretary & Acting President) to book a time slot for this challenge at Headquarters. Now felines, come on out and participate...theese one is a very important event...you will be part of making history...In closing, I say:
"WILL THE "REAL" NUM-NUMS PLEASE STEP FORWARD"...

CLOON DISCOVERS HIS LONG-LOST TWIN IN THE LAND DOWN UNDER

Well hello my Dear Audience, gather around ...I'z gots a little story for you all and it goes like this: One evening I was surfing the interwebs and I came across theese little fellow with a striking resemblance to myself (see 2nd photo above). So I says to myself, theese one must be my long-lost Brother from another Mother. I'z been trying to convince my Human to go to the Land of Oz to picks up my twin and brings him back to Headquarters. Please feel free to donate to theese most worthy cause of re-uniting me and my long-lost twin by donating to my Num-Num Fund.

The Top 6 Similarities Between Me & My Koala Bear Twin:

6) We'z both gray.

5) We both sleep approximately 18 hours a day.

4) We'z both nocturnal creatures hence being active during the night.

3) Threats to us both are cars (for me they compete with my Clooneymobile business) and dogs (except for Mr. L).

2) We both looks like "stuffed animals".

and the #1 Similarity...

1) We both depend on one certain food for our survival...for me it's Num-Nums and for my twin it's eucalyptus leaves.

HELP RE-UNITE ME WITH MY TWIN...DONATE