Wacky Wednesday

Before:

After:

Felines...are your hairy paws keeping you from Red Carpet appearances?  Now is the time to take action!  Call "One Eight Hundred Wax Jobs" to book an appointment. 


Our trained staff will meet you curbside to get the deed done. 

Book early to avoid disappointment...theese ice cream sandwiches are going fast...

REMEMBRANCE WEEKEND: THE BEST OF "GIRLFRIEND" MARATHON (PART 1)

DO YOU SUFFER FROM HAIRY PAWS?

TOO SHY TO GO OUTSIDE, SHOPPING, OR TO THE BEACH?

CONTACT THE MOBILE WAXING UNIT...

Cloon: Hello Audience, here I am in-studio with special guest and Feline Esthetician "Girlfriend". Welcome "Girlfriend".

"Girlfriend": Thank you very much.

"Cloon": Now, tell me about this surprising fact that many cats suffer from hairy paws...

"Girlfriend": Well Cloon, most felines are quite secretive about this because of the humiliation factor. But I'm here today to tell them that it's okay to come out of the closet and seek help.

Cloon: What are the actual statistics for theese one?

"Girlfriend": A shocking 30% of felines suffer from hairy paws. And Maine Coons are over-represented in that category.

THE AUDIENCE GASPS IN ASTONISHMENT. CLOON POUNDS HIS LITTLE PAW FOR "ORDER IN THE COURT".

Cloon: We have a film clip to show the Audience. Please cue the presentation. (The Assembly Line Elves start up the projector.) Rolling... For those at home, please see second photograph above.

Well Audience, there you have it. There's the proof. Now "Girlfriend" is going to give us some more information about "The Mobile Waxing Unit".

"Girlfriend": So Felines there's no need to panic about the situation. My mobile spa, which incidentally doubles as an ice cream truck, will come right to you. You will jump into the back of the truck and be transported to another time and place (metaphorically speaking of course, we're not kidnapping you or anything). My theme for my mobile spa is Zen Gardens. In this healing space, special recordings of chirping birds play in the background. There are many plants and a DVD plays "Mousies" on a big screen TV. I start each session by a Zen Meditation, deep breathing exercises and of course some of the highest grade premium organic catnip available. I use only the finest French waxing strips for the hairy paws. After the waxing is complete, you are treated to a complimentary ice cream sandwich (Cloon has an overstock from Costco). Remember Cloon likes to multitask, so he will be selling various ice creams out of the front of the truck. I think drumsticks and popsicles are also available. Now remember, the Spring Special is $19.95 (includes all 4 paws and the ice cream sandwich). We will be taking before and after photos for the purpose of advertising. (All Felines will be asked to sign an agreement for disclosure.)

SO FELINES, NOW IS THE TIME TO RECLAIM YOUR SOCIAL LIFE. DO NOT LET HAIRY PAWS HOLD YOU BACK ANY LONGER. CALL 1-800-WAX-JOBS TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT OR COME OUT TO THE CURB WHEN YOU HEAR AN ICE CREAM TRUCK PLAYING THE "MACARENA" IN YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD...

Originally posted April 29, 2009

SECRETARY NEYTIRI RUNS "ESTHETICS" BOOTCAMP

Cloon: Hello there Audience. Joining me today is Neytiri, the Secretary of Clooney Credit Canada, with an update on our latest Employee Bootcamp. How goes theese module?

Neytiri: Excellent. "Ducky" is a natural at "Esthetics".

Cloon: Well, who would've ever known! Now I understand that "Ducky" was our only Employee who completed theese component of the Bootcamp.

Neytiri: Yes, that is correct. Currently, Pierre Du Port is Down Under tutoring French to the kangaroos. The Cockatoo from Australia had to sit this one out because our liability insurance does not cover sharp claws mixed with "tender tootsies".

Cloon: So what exactly does "Esthetics" cover?

Neytiri: Basically we are continuing the legacy of "Girlfriend's" Mobile Waxing Unit, where Felines will call in to our busy switchboard and book an appointment for a wax job of their hairy paws. They will then meet us "curbside", jump into our Mobile Waxing Unit, have their paws waxed and then enjoy an ice cream sandwich after the fact. New Audience members can read an earlier post on the blog which goes into this in-depth: http://bit.ly/a2NLE8

Cloon: I'm excited to be back in the Driver's Seat...of the Ice Cream Truck/Mobile Waxing Unit that is! By the way, did "Ducky" practice the "Esthetics" on your hairy paws?

Neytiri: Uh, that would be a no. My hairy paws are part of the Ragdoll signature look. Some other Felines volunteered.

Cloon: Wow, what would make those brave souls volunteer to have their paws waxed?

Neytiri: Num-Nums.

Cloon: Enough said. Felines, suffer no more humiliation...call in to 1-800-WAX-JOBS now to book your appointment. The first 50 callers will receive a complimentary can of Num-Nums in addition to the $19.95 special for all 4 paws...