October 11, 2010

Cloon: Joining me via cellphone from Ottawa are Mr. L and "The Baby". Greetings to you both.

"The Baby": Thank you. Thank you very much.

Cloon: So, let's get this straight...The two of you have been staging a protest at the Government Headquarters on Parliament Hill.

Mr. L: Affirmative.

Cloon: Is this part of the strategy of trying to get the visas for my Zoo approved?

"The Baby": Exactamundo. The bribes didn't work. It turns out this ain't ME-HI-CO, Muchacho.

Cloon: Did you try to upsell with tequila, plastic surgery connections or free Elvis voice-coaching lessons?

Mr. L: Yes, we pulled out all the stops in the "bribe" department, but it was a no go, leading us to resort to different methods of conduct, hence staging a protest.

Cloon: Do you need me to send for my cousin from Old Country, "The Babushka Cat Hot Dog Vendor" to sell some hot dogs and sauerkraut on the protest lines?

"The Baby": There's a lack of "premises" here, aka porta-potties, so it's not a good idea. Besides the masses have been satisfied with our Elvis impersonation performances...We're developing quite a good fan base in Ottawa.

Cloon: Excellent, but back to the matter at hand. What is the biggest obstacle to the visas being approved for my Australia Zoo in Canada?

"The Baby": The immigration officials say that the results on the official language proficiency test are not high enough for all the visa applicants.

Cloon: I'z a bit confused. I was under the impression that Strine is similar enough to English for the animals to get a passing grade on their language tests.

"The Baby": They need improvement on their French marks for the visas to be approved.

Cloon: I'll send Pierre Du Port in cargo ASAP to 'Stralia to tutor the animals in French. I needs a soft opening on my Zoo in the New Year. Thanks Boys. Keep up the good work on the protest just in case it works in the meantime.

"The Baby": Thank you. Thank you very much. Oops gotta go, Mr. L just had a "squirrel sighting" on the lawns of Parliament and we are about to perform another Elvis concert for the masses. Adios Amigo.

Cloon: Hasta luego, Muchacho!

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