Clooney's Num-Num Fund

** NEWS BULLETIN**...MR. L ON HOUSE ARREST AT VON ICE ENTERPRISES FOR PROTESTING ON PARLIAMENT HILL...

Cloon: I gots a juicy one for you Audience. I gets a call in the middle of the night from Mr. L... from you know...the clink. He decides to call me with his one and only phone call. Of course I'z flattered and really can't blame the guy because I has all these connections and all. Anyway, it turns out that Mr. L and "The Baby" got arrested for causing a ruckus with their protest on the Parliament Grounds. I guess the music from their Elvis concert was too loud and they was charged with disturbing the peace. So I sends one of my cronies from the good ol' days, Mr. X, to bail him out. We'z lucky that the canine on duty was an agreeable fellow and that for a ham bone and a C-note (from my printing press of course) he was able to release Mr. L and agree to house arrest for 1 month. Let's give a call to Von Ice Enterprises and see how Mr. L is coping, shall we?

Cloon in a fake British accent: Yes, hello this is Scotland Yard. We're verifying the whereabouts of one Malhaven Leopold Von Ice. May we speak with the ol' boy?

Miss Stormy Weathers: Uh, I'm afraid he's indisposed. Care to leave a message?

Cloon: I'm afraid this is official business and we must confirm that he is indeed on the property at this address. Put him on "the blower" at once.

Miss Stormy Weathers: All right, all right. Don't get your "knickers" in a knot. I'll get the "hound" for ya.

Mr. L: Hello?

Cloon: Good day. Is this indeed Malhaven Leopold Von Ice?

Mr. L: Affirmative.

Cloon: Ooh, you're in a lot of trouble ol' boy aren't you?

Mr. L: Roger that.

Cloon: No chasing squirrels or rabbits for the next month I'm afraid.

Mr. L: Is this really Scotland Yard? I'm a big fan of yours. Can I have some detective tips for my business?

Cloon: Just messin' with ya ol' boy, it's me Cloon. Ha ha theese one was a good one! How's the house arrest going?

Mr. L: It's not that shabby. I'm a fan of my "house". It's pretty comfy with all the blankies and I have a view into the yard for squirrel sightings.

Cloon: Is Miss Stormy Weathers providing you with some coping tips being that she's familiar with house arrest ?

Mr. L: She is indeed. She will be spending the month with me in the "house" (see photo above) and preparing me for the psychological effects at each stage of the process. She then plans to write a book about the experience and go on the talk show circuit promoting it. She's a bit of a fame ho...

Cloon: A lady after my own heart. Why wasn't "The Baby" with you in custody last night?

Mr. L: Uh, he fled the scene when the authorities arrived and is currently "on the lam".

Cloon: Well there you have it folks. Moral of the story is: impersonating Elvis on Government turf can be risky. Best to stick to your Human's basement and of course karaoke lounges.