August 12, 2009

EAVESDROPPING 101: A SEMINAR BY "GIRLFRIEND"...


EAVESDROPPING 101: A SEMINAR BY "GIRLFRIEND"...50 FELINES ATTENDED A SOLD OUT WEEKEND WORKSHOP ON "EAVESDROPPING ON YOUR HUMAN". They crowded into the new bedroom of "Girlfriend" (still not venturing far in the residential move). What follows is a brief media clip of the event:


"Girlfriend": Does everyone have their Starbucks Beverage? Ok then, let's get started, we have alot of material to cover this afternoon.

1) First of all, I need everyone to assume the correct eavesdropping position (see above photo for details). Ears back and out...Cloon (My helper today) will be making his rounds through the Audience checking for proper technique.

2) Next and this is a VERY IMPORTANT POINT...Whenever you hear your Human's voice in a conversation, stop what you are doing immediately and go sit as close to your Human as possible. Even if you are "under blankie" it is imperative that you come out of hiding and take a position near your Human.

3) When Humans are on the telephone speaking with another, this is an excellent time to get good information. Felines can either go right up to their Human and nestle in or take more of a clandestine position in the same room.

4) When your Human has company over this is another opportune time to get good information. Go and sit between your Human and their guest and put your ears into the correct eavesdropping position.

5) Store all juicy information you eavesdrop on in your memory banks and burn it in real good. You never know when the information will come in handy.

Testimonial from a previous feline attendee: "I observed my Human on the telephone in his office, so I jumped on the desk and laid by the keyboard with my ears in the proper eavesdropping position...That's when I heard the words, 'I'm going to take him to the vet because he is still squinting with his eye.' So, I then used the power of my Third Eye to heal my eye and avoid the vet visit. In my case, this information was priceless. So, I definitely recommend "Girlfriend's" seminar. And it's a good excuse to gets a free Frappuccino as well...
-T.I.M.

FELINES FOR JUST $149 YOU CAN ATTEND A FUTURE SEMINAR OF "GIRLFRIEND'S". "EAVESDROPPING ON YOUR HUMAN" INCLUDES YOUR FAVORITE STARBUCKS BEVERAGE AND SELLS OUT WELL IN ADVANCE, SO BE FOREWARNED...

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