February 18, 2009



Today I have a very special surprise for y'all. I have in-studio with me, "Stan" who happens to be a "Miniature Sheep". Now, he's on a whirlwind publicity tour so we only have a few minutes of his time. Let's get started.

Cloon: Welcome Stan!

Stan: Hola!

Cloon: Are you going to get all Spanish on me, dude? (Audience, Clooney is scrambling for his Mini Pocket Spanish Dictionary).

Stan: Donde esta el bano?

Cloon: That will be a toon please for using the premises. But, buddy can't you hold it for now, we're just getting started.

Stan: Si, pero yo quiero una cerveza.

Cloon: Oy, yoy, yoy! (as my Ukrainian Grandmother would say) I didn't realize these little sheeps were so high maintenance. Ok. A Kilkenny or a Corona?

Stan: Corona con limon. Gracias.

Cloon: Would you like some chicken wings with that?

Stan: I'm a vegetarian actually.

Cloon: What the... You speak English?

Stan: Yep, I was messing with you. I came here today to teach you about the Andean concept of "reciprocity". It means you don't give without receiving something in return and you don't receive without giving something in return.

Cloon: Kind of like, what comes around, goes around...

Stan: Exactly, muchacho. See in your interview the other day with Mr. L you did a little bit of teasing with him, so I'm your karma (in the form of a small sheep of course).

Cloon: I stand humbled. Now, let's get on with it... Are you from the Andes?

Stan: Yes, I am from South America, more specifically Peru.

Cloon: Do they have Num-Nums in Peru?

Stan: No they don't Cloon.

Cloon: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

Stan: Well, I'm not into num-nums. I only eat leaves.

Cloon: Isn't that boring?

Stan: Not if I wash them down with a little cerveza.

Cloon: Is "Stan" a Spanish name?

Stan: Does it sound Spanish to you?

Cloon: (Audience the beer is making Stan a little cocky) Ok. How did you end up with a name like Stan, shouldn't you be an Eduardo or Ricardo or something like that?

Stan: Well, I was discovered by two humans in a Canadian zoo and I was named Stan.

Cloon: So, you presently live in a zoo?

Stan: Correctamundo. I was hoping to be adopted by your Human and live at Clooney Credit Canada with y'all, but the zoo put a kaibosh on that.

Cloon: (handing out kleenex to the Audience) Well, little buddy we don't have leaves here so maybe it's all for the best...

Stan: But you do have cerveza.

Clooney: Si.

Donate to the num-num fund in the next 24 hrs. and have a special photo taken with Stan, "The World's Smallest Sheep". And bring him some leaves please...

Cloon: Well it was a pleasure speaking with you today. Take care of yourself in the harsh winter climate please. Maybe you should start drinking hot toddies instead of cerveza.

(Audience for being our guest here today, Stan will leave with a toque and blankie knitted by "Girlfriend")

Stan: Gracias, amigo. Donde esta el bano? (Stan staggers down the hall to find the "premises")

No comments:

Post a Comment

We love your comments! Psst...can I interest you in a Clooneymobile?