PIERRE DU PORT TAKES AMATEUR CATEGORY IN WORLD'S FIRST
POUTINE-EATING CHAMPIONSHIP

Cloon: Hello there Audience. Joining me in-studio is Pierre Du Port. Pierre has returned from his Australian trip and has just finished competing in the World's First Poutine-Eating Championship in Toronto. Welcome back Pierre!

Pierre: Bonjour et merci!

Cloon: So, tell us little buddy, how did the poutine-eating contest go?

Pierre: Formidable!

Cloon: That's excellent, most excellent! How did you place?

Pierre: Well, I took the amateur category, just as you predicted Cloon.

Cloon: Tell us more...how much poutine did you manage to eat in the allotted time of 10 minutes?

Pierre: I consumed 6 pounds of poutine!

Cloon: Now, theese is most excellent for a dog toy your size!

Pierre: C'est vrai. The organizers of the event were kinda worried about me being so small so I was required to sign a waiver about the potential adverse effects of consuming so many calories in only a few minutes.

Cloon: How did you feel afterwards?

Pierre: Like a million bucks, given the fact that I was without poutine for the 2 months I was "Down Under".

Cloon: Well Congratulations Pierre! Do you have anything else to say in closing?

Pierre: Oui, oui. I'm very pleased that poutine-eating has now become an international sport!

Cloon: Well give the little guy a round of applause Audience and anyone who donates to the Num-Num Fund in the next 48 hours will receive a free e-book authored by Pierre Du Port entitled, "Eat Poutine Like An Amateur"...

PIERRE DU PORT CATCHES HIS LAST FEW RAYS IN OZ BEFORE RETURNING TO CANADA

Cloon: Hello Pierre! I finds myself a wee bit jealous of your beach view. But I do has some good squirrel watching, I guess.

Pierre: G'day Mate! Yes, I must admit that I have enjoyed the rays and the beautiful scenery.

But alas I must return to Canada...

Cloon: Well just in time mon ami...As "poutine" has been trending on the interwebs. What say you about this?

Pierre: Well to quote you, "this is excellent, most excellent".

Cloon: I has a big surprise for you!

Pierre: Did you get me declared a famous "cowboy"?

Cloon: I'm still working on that one...uh, sorry about that. But theese surprise is a good one, trust me on theese one.

Pierre: Ok, I can't take the suspense any longer...

Cloon: I used my celebrity status to get you into the World's First Poutine-Eating Contest in Toronto.

Pierre: C'est formidable!

Cloon: You will be one of three Canadian amateurs battling for the title of champion.

Pierre: Who are you calling an amateur?

Cloon: Well I couldn't gets you into the "professional" category because they'z only accepting eating professionals from the United States. But I think you can takes it in the amateur category.

Pierre: Bien sur!

Cloon: So I'd like you to start with getting the "visualizations" going. Think about eating as much poutine as possible within 10 minutes.

Pierre: Will do Cloon, will do.

Cloon: Audience, send Pierre Du Port some good vibes for winning, will ya?