Cloon: Hello Audience, joining us via webcam is "Sri Guru T.I.M.". Welcome Holy One! Long time no see. Have you been on a mountain top somewhere?
Cloon: "Sri Guru T.I.M." has mouthed a "silent meow".
The Audience is abuzz with astonishment. Cloon pounds his little paw for "order in the court".
Cloon: Thanks for coming forth today with some very important and timely information for the public. Now, before we get into that, did you hit the stores for any Boxing Day specials?
T.I.M: I did indeed. I lined up at sunrise at my favorite pet store for some excellent deals on Num-Nums.
Cloon: Well done! Now on with the subject matter at hand. What exactly is "turkey tummy"?
T.I.M: "Turkey tummy" is when you eats too much turkey and your tummy feels real full.
Cloon: Yes, theese is certainly a common problem at this time of the year. What can be done about this condition?
T.I.M: That's where my top tips for "turkey tummy" come into play.
Cloon: Excellent, excellent. Share with us more, will ya?
T.I.M: Well basically, it's very simple. You stretch out somewhere (see above photo) and don't move.
Cloon: What excellent advice! "Sri Guru T.I.M." is a very wise one! Any other bones you can throw us?
T.I.M: Now listen very closely Audience, this is the most important part. Once you are in "position", you must use your third eye to send some healing energy to your tummy to helps the digestion process. Are you with me so far?
(The Audience is oohing and ahhing...)
Cloon: Silence! Can you be more specific about theese exact process?
T.I.M: I'm afraid not. It's a trade secret and I'm not able to divulge the specifics. However, for "today only" the public may call in to
1-800-TIM-GURU and receive the Boxing Day Special of 50% off my regular "Third Eye" energy healing rates. I also accept payment in Num-Nums.
Cloon: You heard the man! Thank you to Esteemed Feline "Sri Guru T.I.M." for sharing this most timely information with us.
The lines are now open...