IT'S A GREAT DAY FOR CANADA, EVERYBODY!
ONE OF OUR OWN, LEO VON ICE, CELEBRATES HIS BIRTHDAY!
In honor of Mr. L's 4th Birthday, I have composed a special song which I am about to perform.
Cloon: Ahem, testing, testing...Excuse me everyone...(In an English accent: "The mike's not working"...)
"Girlfriend": Here, let's just turn it on, shall we...
Cloon: Oh. Ok. Your attention please...For Mr. L:
Happy Birthday to you.
You live in a zoo.
You act like a monkey.
And you smell like one too.
And many more.... (Audience, Cloon has the "jazz hands" going)
(Audience, what Mr. L doesn't know is that "The Baby" is joining me live via an airplane phone to wish him a Happy Birthday)
Cloon: "Baby", where the heck are you?
"The Baby": I'm at a cruising altitude of 35,000 feet, heading to Fort Lauderdale for Spring Break.
Cloon: Do they have the miniature jars of jam on your flight?
"The Baby": No, they don't Cloon. They have miniature bottles of vodka, though.
Cloon: I was really hoping to add to my jam collection. Anyway, let's talk about Mr. L. Now, mysteriously enough, you appear to be in two places at once.
"The Baby": What are you getting at Cloon?
Cloon: Well, I have a photo of Mr. L's Birthday party and there is clearly an orange dog toy that is sitting with Mr. L.
"The Baby": Now this is really important Cloon. Take your time before responding. Does the orange dog toy have little horns on its head?
Cloon: Hmm, wait a second...Yes, "Baby", yes it does.
"The Baby": Impostor! I cry impostor! A "bad cuz" has infiltrated Von Ice Enterprises and has assumed my identity. Alert the FBI.
Cloon: Whoa..."Baby", this is a serious accusation. Should we call in the SWAT?
"The Baby": No, on second thought, let's keep this under wraps for now. I shall challenge the impostor to a duel when I eventually return.
Cloon: Do you have a birthday message for Mr. L, the special canine in your life?
"The Baby": (in a deepening voice) I have a little song for him, actually. "Love me tender, love me dear, Tell me you are mine, I'll be yours through all the years', Till the end of time..."
Cloon: Now, I get it. You and Mr. L are both Elvis fans.
"The Baby": Yes, that's right. When our Human leaves the house, we practise our Elvis impersonations. We're taking it to Vegas someday...
Cloon: Ahh, North America, the land of dreams...
"The Baby": I also want to say something in Mr. L's mother tongue: "Prost! Alles Gute zumGeburtstag!"
Cloon: (reaching for his mini pocket German dictionary) "Guten Appetit! das Gluckskind!"
ALL THE EMPLOYEES OF CLOONEY CREDIT CANADA WISH OUR FAVORITE CANINE LEO A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!