DIM THE LIGHTS PLEASE... AND SILENCE...
THE ESTEEMED FELINE "SRI GURU T.I.M." HAS WADDLED INTO THE STUDIO FOR A RARE INTERVIEW.
Cloon: We are honored by your presence Sri Guru T.I.M.
Cloon: Audience, the holy one has mouthed a "silent" meow.
(The studio is abuzz with astonishment.)
Cloon: Order, order in the court! (Cloon pounds his little paw to restore order.) I understand that it is very rare for you to give a public appearance and interview, to what do we owe this pleasure?
T.I.M: Num-nums. I was promised num-nums. It's in the contract...
Cloon: Ahh, that explains it. Now, let's get down to business. I hear you heal with your "third eye". Can you tell me how you discovered this secret power?
T.I.M: One day I eavesdropped on my Human and heard that he was planning to take me to the Vet because I was squinting with one of my eyes. So, I used my "third eye" to heal my eye and put a monkey wrench into the Vet visit.
(Audience is oohing and ahhing...)
Cloon: Silence! Wow, that's an incredible story! Now, can you do other things with this "third eye" like make num-nums materialize out of thin air?
T.I.M: If I could do that, I wouldn't be here talkin' to you, would I?
Cloon: Point well taken. Give me some more info on this "third eye".
T.I.M: Well, I use my "third eye" to send healing energy to Humans and critters. It works on physical, emotional, and spiritual levels.
Cloon: Send me some "third eye" action for the "irregularity", will ya?
T.I.M: Throw me some crunchies (aka kibbles) and we'll talk.
Cloon: You drive a hard bargain. So, Guru T.I.M. how did you get to be so enlightened?
T.I.M: The interwebs, specifically wikipedia.
Cloon: And how did you learn the art of eavesdropping, which you mentioned earlier?
T.I.M: I took an intensive weekend seminar on "Eavesdropping on your Human" by a feline known as "Girlfriend".
Cloon: Audience, the lights are dim, there is silence, we are going to close our eyes, repeat a mantra and Sri Guru T.I.M. will send each of us some "third eye" energy. Are you all ready? Ok, repeat after me. OM, T.I.M., OM, T.I.M., OM, T.I.M...
Cloon: Audience, open your eyes, Sri Guru T.I.M. has disappeared off stage.
Wait a minute, what the...
Sri Guru T.I.M. is in the kitchen eating all my num-nums... That's not in the contract...
DONATE TO THE NUM-NUM FUND AND REPLACE THE INVENTORY THE HOLY ONE HAS EATEN... AND CLOON WILL SEND YOU SOME "THIRD EYE" ENERGY (it can't be that hard to figure out, I study the interwebs as well...)