TUNNEL CHASE TUESDAY

TUNNEL CHASE TUESDAY: O' TUNNEL, WHERE ART THOU?

Well hello there felines.  So last week, I was advised by my old friend Private Eye Von Ice to make a list of suspects that could have had something to do with the disappearance of my tunnel.  

There was a list of 13 Unusual Suspects...  

Private Eye Von Ice then instructed me to gather all the suspects in one room at the same time...I came up with the bright idea to hold a "fake" Focus Group in order to lure the suspects to Headquarters without them getting suspicious...

I made posters to advertise a Num-Nums Taste Test at Headquarters and asked for Focus Group Purr-ticipants...

I put up signs at the side of the road giving directions and advertising the Taste Test...

I even built a fancy Easter display of Num-Nums complete with the Easter chick...

Uh, I had to cross out the word "Chicken" on the Num-Nums can as I didn't want to scare the little chick away...

Then I got into my official CEO outfit and waited patiently at the Headquarters of Clooney Credit Canada...

Sure enough, the "Unusual Suspects" started to filter in to Headquarters for the "Focus Group"...

All 13 of them congregated in the foyer eagerly anticipating the promised goods...

Private Eye Von Ice was also in attendance in his famous "Na'vi" disguise...He told me that his "sniffer" would help me sniff out the serious suspects...

Private Eye had an idea to separate the suspects into two groups in order to observe them more easily.  I called out their names and unbeknownst to them all we organized them by "Inanimate Objects" on one side of the room and "The Real McCoys" on the other...

(Uh, please don't tell Ducky that he is an "Inanimate Object", the little guy supposedly drinks beer and everything!)

You see Audience, when Private Eye told me last week to get my "Mentalist" on and channel my inner "Patrick Jane", I gots to thinking about the motivations of the suspect who has taken my magic cat tunnel.  Y'all know that many cool things have appeared in my tunnel and ALOT of food has appeared over the years.  There's been KFC, ham, whipping cream, Chinese food take-out, red velvet cupcakes, salmon jerky and other cat treats, crunchie kibbles, CASES of Num-Nums and of course there's been cold, hard cash wherein the suspect could buy all the food they wanted...

So using my superior mental abilities, I have come to the conclusion that the suspect is food-motivated!  And I decided to test the theory at the Taste Test...

As I explained the rules and regulations of the Focus Group, Private Eye kept a close eye on all the Purr-ticipants noting who was paying attention to me and who had the wandering eye looking to the Easter display of Num-Nums...

Private Eye Von Ice then circulated through the group giving each Purr-ticipant aka "suspect" a final sniff.

The "Real McCoy" side of the room unanimously failed the test!  It was duly noted that the following Purr-ticipants were NOT able to divert their gaze from the Easter Num-Nums display and therefore they have become...

"The Final 7 Unusual Suspects":

Neytiri 

Stan The World's Smallest Sheep

Varmit The Marmot

My Long-Lost Cousin Cloonski Ogorki

Clooney Claus's Deers

The Woofie From Next Door

Ducky's Relatives

Join me next TUESDAY felines for Tunnel Chase Tuesday and Part 2 of the Num-Nums Taste Test where things really get interesting!