August 1, 2010


Cloon: Hello Audience. My security division alerted me to the fact that my new employee, the new Secretary of Clooney Credit Canada was indeed captured on hidden camera, sleeping instead of answering the busy phone lines. I'z about to have a disciplinary meeting with her.

"Yes, excuse me...Can you state your name for the record please?"

Secretary: Yes, of course. My name is Princess Neytiri.

Cloon: That's a really nice name. Do you happen to know Jake Sully?

PN: As a matter of fact I do. I happen to be the "Treasurer" of the "Jake Sully Fanclub".

Cloon: I'm afraid there must be some mistake. I'z the "Treasurer" of the "Jake Sully Fanclub".

PN: I have my laminated membership card to prove it. And I was sworn in today before my "nap".

Cloon: Who had the authority to conduct the ceremony?

PN: "The Baby". He said he was the founding member of the Club.

Cloon: We'll have to have a recount of the ballots. That position was promised to me.

PN: Uh, sorry about that! "The Baby" was impressed with my background in Accounting and said I was a shoo-in for the position.

Cloon: We'll be dealing with that matter separately. Now on to the matter at hand, disciplinary action....Hidden cameras have caught you sleeping on the job instead of running "Headquarters". What say you with regards to this allegation?

PN: That bed is not too shabby but I would prefer a Simmons Beautyrest. Is it too late to write that into my contract?

Cloon: Surrender the "Treasurer" position and we'll talk. Now back to your duties as Secretary. Do you feel no remorse for cat-napping instead of answering the phone lines, collecting the faxes, booking mobile waxing appointments, supervising the Elves etc. etc?

PN: The Cockatoo from Australia is my Assistant-in-Training and was supposed to be manning the phone lines in my absence. What can I say...good help is hard to find.

Cloon: Well I'll let it go theese time...but get it together will ya...I can't be missing any calls for Clooneymobile orders. By the way, what Clan are you from? The Na'vi or the Jarhead Clan?

PN: The "Ragdoll" Clan actually.

Cloon: Excellent, most excellent. And what's that orange thing you got with ya?

PN: It's "Carrot". My favorite toy.

Cloon: Stayed tuned Audience...Princess Neytiri has moved into Headquarters with a whole new cast of characters and there promises to be some new material...

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