November 30, 2010

TUNNEL TUESDAY




TUNNEL TUESDAY: TAKE A LOOK AT THEESE ONE...
Hello there Audience! Thanks for joining me for another "Tunnel Tuesday"...OK, theese one is excellent! I arrives at my "tunnel" early this morning...(It's just like Christmas morning, checking to see what "Clooney Claus" has left for ya in your stockin' and under your tree.)
and, lo and behold, there's CATNIP in my "tunnel". Now theese is not just ANY catnip, theese one is a good one! It is a "potent" blend, grown in Canada, it's KOOKY (like me) and it is endorsed by a feline who looks like me (in fact he might be another "twin" of mine). Now the best part of theese catnip is that it is stalkless, which means it is a finer blend and easier for us felines to eat because the sticks and stalks have been taken out. I says, "Sticks and stalks can breaks me bones, but "nip" can never hurt me"...Uh, that was a bit of my "beat poetry" folks!
Anyways, as you can see from the above photos, my Secretary Neytiri tried to muscle in on my "nip" territory and I wasn't appreciating it. I hads to give her a bit of a "love bite" to keeps her in check. I knows theese might be a "shocking revelation" to my public, but I don't likes to share...
In closing I says, "Without my catnip, mornings is impossible"...

Join me each TUESDAY felines for other magical and mysterious appearances in my "tunnel".

November 26, 2010

T.G.I.F....Thank God I'm Feline!

T.G.I.F. & T.G.I.F!

OK Felines, gather 'round and listen real closely, will ya? I'z got an interesting story to tell...Once upon a time, I was awarded a "Key To The City" for my heroic rescue of "The Baby" and his return to Mr. L. To refresh your memory or read theese story for the first time, please see theese previous post: http://bit.ly/a7x2f3 The other night, in the wee hours of the morn, I finds myself quite bored. So I decides to takes my "key", go outside, take a little walk around the driveway and see if I can again try my "paw" at finding what the key belongs to. Now theese "key" is very fancy. It is on my "Team Edward" keychain (because we'z all about "Edward" at Headquarters). Anyways, back to the "key". It has all theese different buttons on it. So I starts pressin' all theese buttons, aiming it in the direction of various vehicles in the driveway....Well, lo and behold, one of the vehicles starts honking and lighting up and I realize that all theese time, I had in my possessions the "key" to my Human's vehicle. So, I gets in the vehicle, puts myself behind the wheel, puts the "key" in the ignition and viola! Theese vehicle starts "purring" and off I go...driving around aimlessly, ignoring high gas prices. In fact, Felines I drives around in circles all night till I tucker myself out. Then I parks my Human's vehicle back exactly where I found it, press theese buttons on the fancy "key" again, locks it up and goes back inside to have a snooze in my "couch" (see above photo). And that's all folks...How's your day goin'? T.G.I.F!

November 23, 2010

TUNNEL TUESDAY


TUNNEL TUESDAY: TAKE A LOOK AT THEESE ONE...


Hello there Audience! A very, very mysterious phenomenon has been taking place at Headquarters...it involves my cat tunnel...Periodically, objects appear in my cat tunnel from the great beyond. Now theese are not just ANY objects...theese are objects that I have secretly been wishing for. Previous objects that have appeared in my tunnel are a Blackberry, which I needed to conduct my Clooneymobile business, and KFC, which I loves and needed for the irregularities...wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more? Because theese appearances are as mysterious as the Virgin Mary appearing on toast or grilled cheese sandwiches, I have decided to share them with the public at large.

Join me each TUESDAY felines for other magical and mysterious appearances in my "tunnel".

November 6, 2010

Bedazzle Me!

 
 BEDAZZLE ME! NEYTIRI & "DUCKY" GET BUSY BEDAZZLING...

Cloon: Hello Audience. Well our Employee Bootcamp has wrapped up this weekend at Headquarters. Secretary Neytiri has taken employee "Ducky" through the last component of "Bedazzling". So tell us how did the little guy do?

Neytiri: I'm so proud of him! "Ducky" is in the top percentile of our employees!
Cloon: Uh, we don't has that many "employees" here, doesn't that skew the results?
Neytiri: Uh, don't rain on our parade...give him some credit...he is a "cat toy" after all.
Cloon: Theese is a good point. Sorry about that! So what did "Ducky" bedazzle for his final assignment?









Neytiri: "Ducky" bedazzled a swimsuit for a lady's fitness competition. And he did a "purr-fect" job I might add. Everyone can see the results in the photos above.

Cloon: Wow, great job! What other things can customers have bedazzled?

Neytiri: Well, we also have something going called "Pimp My Suitcase" where we bedazzle rhinestones onto luggage and put fancy new little "mags" on, as well. Customers can read about all the details on a previous post of ours at http://bit.ly/d7vxr0 .

Cloon: Well done Secretary Neytiri! So what is on the agenda for the rest of this weekend?

Neytiri: This afternoon we are having a little graduation ceremony whereby "Ducky" will be awarded the "Clooney Credit Canada Employee Bootcamp" certificate for completing this most stringent certification process.

Cloon: Excellent! Now in one of theese photos above, you have your paw raised above the "little guy". What is going on there?

Neytiri: I was about to "bat the little guy around" a bit. This Bootcamp has been a lot of hard work and a very serious process so I was going to lighten things up a little...

Cloon: Sounds good. Well there you have it folks...it's a wrap. Customers can now be assured that the services we provide are top-notch and our Employees have the best skills and training possible. Now that we're done with theese "serious" stuff, let's turn up the music and PAR-TAY!
Has a good one Felines!

November 5, 2010


SECRETARY NEYTIRI RUNS "ESTHETICS" BOOTCAMP
Cloon: Hello there Audience. Joining me today is Neytiri, the Secretary of Clooney Credit Canada, with an update on our latest Employee Bootcamp. How goes theese module?
Neytiri: Excellent. "Ducky" is a natural at "Esthetics".
Cloon: Well, who would've ever known! Now I understand that "Ducky" was our only Employee who completed theese component of the Bootcamp.
Neytiri: Yes, that is correct. Currently, Pierre Du Port is Down Under tutoring French to the kangaroos. The Cockatoo from Australia had to sit this one out because our liability insurance does not cover sharp claws mixed with "tender tootsies".
Cloon: So what exactly does "Esthetics" cover?
Neytiri: Basically we are continuing the legacy of "Girlfriend's" Mobile Waxing Unit, where Felines will call in to our busy switchboard and book an appointment for a wax job of their hairy paws. They will then meet us "curbside", jump into our Mobile Waxing Unit, have their paws waxed and then enjoy an ice cream sandwich after the fact. New Audience members can read an earlier post on the blog which goes into this in-depth: http://bit.ly/a2NLE8
Cloon: I'm excited to be back in the Driver's Seat...of the Ice Cream Truck/Mobile Waxing Unit that is! By the way, did "Ducky" practice the "Esthetics" on your hairy paws?
Neytiri: Uh, that would be a no. My hairy paws are part of the Ragdoll signature look. Some other Felines volunteered.
Cloon: Wow, what would make those brave souls volunteer to have their paws waxed?
Neytiri: Num-Nums.
Cloon: Enough said. Felines, suffer no more humiliation...call in to 1-800-WAX-JOBS now to book your appointment. The first 50 callers will receive a complimentary can of Num-Nums in addition to the $19.95 special for all 4 paws...

November 4, 2010

Dona Nobis Pacem


Have ACCEPTANCE for others and yourself
Take CARE in how you treat others and yourself
Purrs and Prayers For Peace.

November 2, 2010

CLOONEY'S NUM-NUM FUND...FROM THE VERY BEGINNING...PART 2:

Hello folks. Now it is time for Part 2 of my story and to introduce some other important "characters" that have been part of my blog... Theese above Canine is Mr. L. He is holding his special friend and favorite dog toy aka his "Baby". I first interviewed Mr. L a long time ago. http://bit.ly/dgXDlj "The Baby" is a VERY INTERESTING CHARACTER. He had broken Mr. L's heart a while back by running away from home thus leaving Mr. L very lonely. http://bit.ly/bPauSD "The Baby" also joined a renegade biker gang and I had to travel to Albuquerque to find him and bring him back home. After "The Baby" and I got our kicks on Route 66, I tricked him, hypnotized him, put him in a suitcase in cargo and brought him back to Canada. Mr. L and him were happily reunited. Mr. L and "The Baby" are big fans of Elvis and perform Elvis Impersonation concerts. When I needs investigative work done, I use the services of Mr. L, who is also known as Private Eye Malhaven Leopold Von Ice.
He has a good nose and when he doesn't get sidetracked by "squirrels" he does some excellent work. http://bit.ly/df9x8J

One day a basket was dropped off on the doorstep of Mr. L's home. That's when Miss Story Weathers entered the picture. http://bit.ly/cwtfGO Miss Stormy was also involved in my Num-Nums Taste Test Challenge. http://bit.ly/cAX4oZ

Another key event was when Mr. L and I received a call from Montreal asking for our help in rescuing a dog toy out of the canal. Theese dog toy is a smaller version of "The Baby" and his name is "Pierre Du Port" (see above photo). Pierre had a fascination with cowboys so he decided to come back to the "wild west" with me and live at Headquarters helping me out with secretarial duties. In the spring of theese year, Pierre also travelled to Australia with my Human and he presented my research paper: "Num-Nums: The Secret Laboratory Findings" at the 1st Annual Symposium On Feline Nutrition . As well, Pierre has been recruiting animals from Oz for my Australia Zoo in Canada. http://bit.ly/aq29xa

With Pierre Du Port away Down Under for so long, I was getting really behind in my work at Headquarters. Those Elves need lots of supervising and the switchboard is really busy with calls for our various services and questions about Clooneymobiles...So my Human decided to finds me a new Secretary to run things behind the scenes. She found theese little one above. Her name is Princess Neytiri and she is from the Ragdoll Clan. http://bit.ly/bzEdLb

I'm glad to have her help with "organizing" things at Headquarters. She's been implementing a Bootcamp for our employees to try to increase efficiency. http://bit.ly/dj4enT We'z had excellent results with the "Office Management", "Assembly Line Production", and "Fundraising and PR" components of the Bootcamp so far. Now Secretary Neytiri will be moving onto the "Esthetics" and "Bedazzling" modules with our employees.
I hopes I made my blog storylines a little less confusing for new Audience members by doing a 2-Part Review. My favorite part of blogging is to tell theese stories and hopefully provides some entertainment for Felines, Humans and...Canines.

Once Upon A Time...The Story of George Clooney The Cat

CLOONEY'S NUM-NUM FUND...FROM THE VERY BEGINNING...PART 1:

Once upon a time, a Human found a character on the interwebs and it was love at first sight. That character was me. She adopted me from a rescue called Happy Cat Sanctuary and named me George Clooney (after her favorite celebrity). I was a REAL CHARACTER right from the very beginning...so I didn't mind the hats and outfits. At my Human's place I discovered a love for Num-Nums, so I decided to create a fund and began to blog for Num-Nums. http://bit.ly/a7Oj0Z In the process, lots of adventures took place and many other "characters" were involved.

I became the CEO of Clooney Credit Canada. My "Headquarters" was working to produce the World's First Clooneymobile. I had an Assembly Line with Assembly Line Elves working day and night except for those naps and Num-Num breaks. http://bit.ly/bwtACV The Elves went on strike once and I had to call in "The Negotiator". My cousin the Babushka Cat Hot Dog Vendor came from Old Country to sell hot dogs with sauerkraut on the picket lines. http://bit.ly/ceLot3

"Girlfriend" was my Secretary at Headquarters. She organized the Elves and me and was involved in other ventures such as the Mobile Waxing Unit. http://bit.ly/a2NLE8 We were very good pals and also threw parties at Headquarters especially for St. Patrick's Day. http://bit.ly/bWWwLH
"Girlfriend" founded the Pink Nose Society that was involved in "Saving The World...One Pink Nose At A Time". You had to be a feline and have a pink nose to join. http://bit.ly/c1ub9i I kept trying to infiltrate the Society but with no luck. http://bit.ly/9B4mg5

TIM was the only other member of the Pink Nose Society. He was a pal of ours from another household. He started out as Secretary and became Acting President when "Girlfriend" unexpectedly passed into kitty heaven. TIM did a lot of fundraising and was able to go on bird-watching trips. http://bit.ly/blOAEB The Society was left without pink noses late this summer when TIM joined "Girlfriend" in kitty heaven. But then out of the blue, "Girlfriend's" long-lost cousin appeared on the doorstep of Headquarters to carry on the legacy and assume the Presidency of the Society. http://bit.ly/c8VPbA
To be continued...